Friday, July 26, 2013

Home Renovations: Day 1

Things I've learned from day one of house renovations:
A. Get all the help you can get. Beg.
B. 20 minutes--how long it takes to pry up the linoleum tiles in my kitchen.
C. My neighbor has a creepy cat with a watchful eye. The cat's other eye ain't watching nothing--if you get my meaning. Edgar Allen Poe would freak.
D. Ownership changes a person. When it comes to physical labor, I'm a minimalist. Not today.
E. The more junk and crap I find in the house, the more I try to decipher the story behind it. Hmm... what's this unmovable speck on this wall? How is a mouse  fossilizing on this trap? What made these walls cry tears of grease?
F.  Previous owners can be your worst enemies. They should have their own negative acronym: PO
G.Crap you paint over is still crap. (Actually, I already knew that. I just included it here in case the PO happens to read this. Yeah, PO, that grease bubble you painted over turned into a wall zit. I popped it.)

Sunday, July 07, 2013


I just discovered Google Keep, and with it have rediscovered the joy of lists. Not that there's anything special about this app over other list making apps, but it's awakened the slumbering listing giant in me. Suddenly, I'm making lists for everything: job lists, daily lists, weekly lists, moving lists, even bucket lists.

I'm transformed. Once a lazy man, doing nothing; with this onslaught of to-dos, I will never forget all the nothing I will do. It's a way to quantify laziness. Should Dad or future me ever grab me by the collar, confronting lazy me over sloth, lazy me can turn over this Google Keep account as Exhibit A for the prosecution. Which could in turn become evidence for the defense. "I can't be lazy! Look at all these lists I've compiled!" Let the prosecution commence smacking itself in the face. (Don't beat yourself up future me, you're not the first prosecution to bring evidence by the defense and for the defense. Can we say Zimmerman trial...?)

Speaking of which, I've got a new list to compile--all the reasons the Zimmerman trial will end in a lose-lose.
Google Keep, here I come...