Yes, it has been quite a while. Do not overstate the obvious.
Moving right along. Give me your full attention.
This summer and past school semester have gone the way of the bumpy road for me. And yesterday, I was walking home from work and talking with God about some of the things that are going on in my life. It had been a very emotionally low day for me. As I walked to the bus, praying, I could sense God listening. Then, He began to show me what I needed to do. I was past the point of resisting. I gave. At times like these, I like to sit and write out what I am going thru. Typically, I blunder and don't finish writing it all down, whether it's poetry or prose. This time God was giving me the words, but I couldn't stop to write them down. I prayed that He wouldn't let me forget, and went on to the bus stop.
I began writing as soon as I was seated on the bus. But, I was stumbling for the words. I realized God wanted me to read from the Word. So I did. From that reading came the answer to what I was writing and learning.
Anyway, here it is (not sure what to title it):
You sit and you cry, when your Everything's gone.
But, no one will hear if your crying goes on.
How long will you cry? for days? for years?
There is a time to come to terms with your tears.
Surrender to the Son, let Him rise on your rain.
Nothing is gained from your pain if down your remain.
It is clear you are empty, with your head in your hands.
But you have bought precious truth if you can look up and stand.
Your Everything is gone and not coming back.
That's what everything becomes: memories--the past.
Here and now is gone no sooner than said.
And the day we live, once lived is dead.
Hold on to your memories, they neither leave nor lie.
They know only one home, and that is deep inside.
So here is the truth upon which to rebuild:
Remember, your hands are not empty if your heart is filled.
~ K. Todd
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
My five week break is almost done (i return to school on saturday). Much rest, much catching up with friends, and much nothingness accomplished. We have been making a few changes in our house: new countertops and hardware, ceiling patching, caulking, painting, etc. I have yet to change a toilet seat. Do you suppose that, if I delay, I can escape this disgusting duty? Don't judge me. Randomness is cool. I want to proclaim (for myself) a return to righteous randomness. One of my New Year's Resolutions is to write more. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that random is right. My desktop background is a picture of a camel's face. One must be deliberately random, only therein is random effective. Another one of my New Year's Resolutions is to learn new words. Harnessing the intrinsic power of random is a delicate skill possessed by few, but can be mastered through patient and thoughtful communication. Today, I learned the definition of scupper: "to wait in hiding to attack; put in a dangerous, disadvantageous, or difficult position" -some dictionary. The power of randomosity is so potent and yet so fragile that it should only be entrusted to the hands of those with good hearts and chary forbearance. I'm feeling good about my classes for this semester. Be good, people, and perhaps, in time, you will be deemed worthy of the blessing of randomosity. I think I will change the toilet seat before I go.
P.S. Note the freedom randomness bestows in liberating one from the bondage of standard paragraph procedure. Henceforth, most of my updates will be on toddieo.blogspot.com, by virtue of my inability to update my other blogs.